It's my opinion that there are 4 different types of guys out there these days:
1. The "I'm more into my guy friends than you" guy:
We all get it dude. You grew up with these guys and they'll probably know more about you than any girlfriend you have will ever know (or want to know for that matter.) These guys spend every waking moment together, golfing, playing video games, eating wings, and drinking whatever they can get their hands on. Where in this full day of being bros is there time for your lady? Sometimes it's entertaining for us to see how you are with your friends. But we really don't want to sit around and watch you guys punch each other in the face for hours on a Friday night. Can we go to dinner just the two of us? Can we go see a movie? Shoot I'll even settle for watching a sporting event with you... just you though. Usually, however, the Blackberry goes off and it's one of his friends wanting to reminisce about the time when "T-Bone fell off that balcony and totally shattered his elbow dude.... remember how epic that was, dude?!?" Somebody needs to explain to this type of guy that this behavior is neither sexy nor appealing. Please give your girl a little more attention, and please cut it out with the frat quirks. Not cute past the age of 18.
2. The "hipster":
Usually very easy to identify, the hipster is the guy covered in tattoos wearing the latest Urban Outfitter trends and drinking pints of ale. This guy will teach you everything you want to know about vintage records and American Apparel hoodies. Body odor might be an issue sometimes, but it's only because he's too cool to bathe... how can you really argue with that? The only issue that I personally I have with the hipster is the general "meh" attitude about life and love. I think I have a little too much "meh" in own my outlook of life to be able to be with a guy who lives his life that way, too. I need a motivator! Not a smelly enabler.
3. The "corporate schmo":
While I appreciate the affinity for tailored suits and the level of maturity, corporate schmo's have one thing on their mind 24 hours a day. The almighty dollar. I know what you're thinking, "But Alli, didn't you just say you wanted a guy to motivate you?" Yes, yes I did. But there is a difference between the guy who works hard from 9-5 Monday through Friday, and the guy who sleeps with his smart phone and gets stock market updates sent to him hourly. I don't need to be made to feel guilty because I don't live to work. I work to live and I think the corporate schmos look down on that. The other characteristic these guys have is a sense of entitlement. Were they raised to believe that they are owed the very best out of life? I think they will always want their moms to wake them up, cook them breakfast, and tell them how amazing they are and how any girl would be so lucky to have them. Scuze me - I have to throw up. Ok I'm back. The most recent guy I seriously dated was a schmo with a subscription to The Wall Street Journal and a membership to Gilt Groupe. Just wish he would have focused a little less on the business world all day and night, and a little more on the fun in life. And me of course...
4. The "asshole":
We've all met 'em. We can almost spot 'em from a mile away. These assholes are usually better looking than the guys they're hanging out with (they hang out with less attractive guys to draw attention to their good looks. Classic move.). These guys are smooth with the lines and always want to keep the drinks flowing (and flowing and flowing) and generously don't have a problem "just sharing a cab back to your place". Random text messages around 12:30am will pour in from this guy when you haven't heard from him in weeks - they always want to know "what you're up to tonight". Assholes are charming and know how to make girls feel like the only girl in the room. Don't fall for this trap. Cuz it'll usually leave you feeling like an idiot afterwards and leave him thinking he's got you in the palm of his hands. Sincerity is always going to be missing here. And do yourself a favor and don't try to "trust your heart". They know how to manipulate that shit. It's what they do.
What I want to know is, what happened to the cool guys? What happened to the guys who have a good group of friends, are confident and driven in life, who have good manners and hygiene, and who are crazy in love with their lady? The well-rounded fellas are like needles in the haystack. I'm talking about the Danny Zuko's, the Jack Dawson's, the Derek Shepherd's (after coming clean about Addison Montgomery Shepherd), and almost any character that Harry Connick Jr. has ever played. Where are these guys who have their own independent lives but who want to put forth a lot of effort to make their lady happy? They're out there... I have an amazing brother-in-law who has all of these qualities and several friends who have found winners as well... But it just seems to me that this breed of dude has been going extinct over the past couple of decades. If you're a dude, and you're reading this (not you, dad) please keep in mind that the well-rounded, happy, confident guy is the guy who makes the ladies happy. This article might be of some help. But please don't follow all of these rules. Pick and choose a few to live by - otherwise you'll turn into a whiny baby schmuck. But that's a whole different type of guy all together. Damn I guess there are 5 types of guys.. But I'm too tired to go into that right now.
