Foolish Ways

I've noticed lately that, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm a bit of a crank. I've been on a few first dates over the past few months, and none of these relationships have turned out to become anything. Is it because I'm a difficult person to be around? Let's look at the evidence a little more closely shall we?

I'm constantly correcting the grammar and spelling of others. Part of me feels guilty about this, but mostly I see it as a favor to others. If you can't spell the word "definitely", then you definitely don't belong in an office setting. If you can't spell my name correctly even though it's at the bottom of the email I just sent you, I have to hope it's because you're too busy/important to notice instead of just that stupid. If you use the word "hear" when you mean to use the word "here", my head is going to explode. I understand that not everybody was an English major, but I'm constantly getting corrected for making math errors - why can't I correct people when they are misusing the language of our country? I'm a patriot damnit! I'm fighting for America! Maybe these suitors don't love America.... and I don't date terrorists.


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As I've mentioned in previous posts, I take my sleep very seriously. Some people knit, some play in a soccer league... I am an avid napper. How is this a bad thing, really? It shows that I'm content with my life and that I'd rather spend my time comfortable in my bed or on my incredibly cozy sofa than out boozing it up and/or socializing with thugs and dangerous folks. (Yes this is a weak argument. But an argument it is.)


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I have the palate of an 8 year old. These wonderful gents have been taking me to French restaurants, Medeterranian cafes and Spanish tapas bars and I find myself flustered while holding the menu because there are no chicken strips or french fries (this really threw me for a loop in the French restaurant). The server comes over and asks if we're ready to order... he orders the scallops and goat cheese-filled filet, and I order a caesar salad. Next guy, next restaurant, he orders pork tenderloin with curry mayonnaise, and I order a caesar salad. I have no desire to "try something new". I like what I like, and I'm a-okay with that. I'm a cheap date! I would assume that's a good thing!

My obsession with my cat Mia has frightened guys since I got her. But if/when I find a guy who loves me as unconditionally as she does, and who makes me smile as often as she does, then I'm sure I'll be just as crazy about him. But until then, a guy is going to have to understand that she was there first, and that she helped me through a pretty tough time in my life just by being around. She might be morbidly overweight and she might make a sh*t-ton of noise while I'm trying to sleep, but she's my baby. Love it or leave it.

As a 24 single woman, I'm starting to get those nagging feelings about whether or not I should just change my "eccentric" (thanks Amanda) ways and become a boring/relationship-friendly person. But what if tomorrow I meet a guy who knows how to diagram a sentence perfectly, loves fast food and doesn't mind fat cats?

I think I'll keep holding out for a guy who doesn't mind my foolish ways. And if he had a billion dollars and looked like this



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...that's cool too.