Well How Should I Know?

If you're a reoccurring visitor to this site than you know I've had my fair share of relationship woes. He's too nice, he's too mean. Too clingy, too distant. Too much personality, not enough personality. I'm a modern day dating Goldilocks and I'm starting to get tired of trying to decipher which extreme I prefer, since there doesn't seem to be any guys that are "juuuuuust right".

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Every time I say this to someone, they respond by asking, "What is it you want out of a guy or in a relationship?"

... (pause blink blink) ...

Well how the hell should I know?

There are several qualities that I know I want in a guy, and probably a hundred things I know I don't want. But here's the tricky part: these wants and needs change. A lot.

I'm a moody person. I admit it. My mood depends on the weather, traffic, my work load, my self-image, and a dozen other factors that shouldn't affect me the way that they do. But that's my deal. Sorry. I'm willing to admit this - so I know that I'm not this perfect girl just waiting to be appreciated and loved. No no. I've got just as much crazy baggage as the next person. But shouldn't there be this perfect guy out there for me who just knows this stuff, and knows exactly how to fix it? My sister (whom I love endlessly) has a bit of a patience problem, and she found the perfect man to help her with that. If she's getting too bossy or demanding, he dishes it right back to her - and it works.

I honestly blame the movies and the books. I grew up thinking every person has a soul mate and that you'll find that person in your late teens/early twenties when you're still young and fun and attractive, and you'll live happily ever after and have beautiful babies and the wife will only work if she wants to. Well that ain't the case. Actual work needs to be done to find a person you can tolerate day in and day out.  

So what kind of guy do I need to seek out? Who could I tolerate? Is that really how this is done? Doesn't this disappoint anyone else?

 Or maybe I should JUST. LET. IT. HAPPEN.

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I guess this is what I'll do for now. Just have faith that God has a plan - and that one day I will find my perfect soul mate and he will love me endlessly for all of my crazy antics.

Until then, there's always friends, booze and kittehs to get me through the days.

Much love to you all!