To My Sister...

I had a dream last night that we got into an argument and I put my gum in your hair as you were walking away. 

I woke up feeling really guilty about it. 

Sorry my subconscious is such an a-hole... hope you can forgive me.

Great Prank

Dwight

Coincidence...

So I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own business and eating my lunch of Panera's mac'n'cheese when I decide to tweet about it. 


I said:

 Seconds later, Betsy sends me a text message and it's a screen shot of a tweet that she had just seen:

There wasn't enough time between the two for her to have seen my tweet and then forwarded that tweet. It just wasn't possible. So I send her this picture in return:

"DID YOU KNOW I WAS EATING THIS RIGHT NOW OR WAS THAT A COINCIDENCE?!!?!?!?"


"Coincidence" she responded. 


So she had just happened to stumble upon a tweet about how fattening Panera's mac'n'cheese is, thought it noteworthy, then sent it to me, all at the same time that I'm tweeting about how delicious it is, whilst shoving a spoonful of it in my face. 


I hear you loud and clear, universe. I'm joining a gym Thursday. Get off my ass, ok?

Liz Lemon understands.

Tickle



koala

High Road From Here On Out

I'm constantly getting frustrated because I never stand up for myself. Whenever I get the opportunity to tell someone off or to put someone in their place, I freeze and smile politely instead (or more realistically I stutter some nonsensical phrase that somehow winds up complimenting them. Dammit.).

This weekend, for one of the first times, I stood up for myself and was less-than-pleasant to someone who really deserved it. And I hated every second of it. I guess I just don't have it in me to be a spiteful person, or to cop an attitude, whether the person deserves it or not.

S0 I'll be taking the "high road" from now on. Whenever I'm around someone I feel the need to tell off, I'm going to kill them with kindness. Evidently that pisses people off...

And then I'll hop on here and rant about it to my heart's content. Sound good?

we heart it

I Can Relate

How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days

I can relate.

And Then A Hero Comes Along

Do you have a hero? Someone you look up to?

I just typed in "hero" into the search bar on Pinterest and these are some of the images that popped up:



(all images via Pinterest)

Who's my hero? I'm inclined to say my parents, my grandparents, my sister... seems like an easy way out though.

Being the eccentric kiddo that I am, my interests change quite often. But today, I think my hero is:

(drumroll please....)

Aaron Sorkin

Aaron Sorkin is a screenwriter and producer who was behind two of my favorite shows, West Wing & Studio 60.

I'd like nothing more than to have my life written by him.

So? Who's yours?

SOPA



truth

A-ha.

For the record, I believe this was the effect the photographer was looking for when he instructed my mother to toss my sister's veil in the air and then "jump out of the picture".



Pretty

But when mom "jumped out of the picture" she fell down a flight of stairs.

Shame. Woulda been pretty.

Betty White

So what you're telling me is that Betty White basically has my dream life?

Great career...

Emmy

She gets to work with animals...

Buddy

And she got to marry the love of her life...

True Love

Some bitches have all the luck.

New Tunes

I'll never be able to thank my parents enough for instilling a love for music in me. I know I've written about it before but it's probably my favorite thing about my family. Even Jessica has impressed me the last few days busting out into a Lynyrd Skynyrd song!

It might be a little sad to admit this, but hearing a new song that I love for the first time is quite possibly my favorite thing about life. Tonight, I heard two.

This first one is called Lost in My Mind by a band called The Head and the Heart:

This second one isn't even released on an album yet, but I found a video of the group doing it live - it's called Ho Hey by The Lumineers:

After hearing both of these I immediately reached out to my friend Lacy because she shares my love of new and different music. Lace, I hope you love these both as much as I do!

Hope everyone had a great Monday... I'm so grateful to have each and every one of you in my life. Share some of your favorite, obscure tunes with me!

Well Ok!



via

Complicated

"Of course I like you! It's because I like you that I don't want to be with you... it's a complicated emotion..."

Nemo

Happy Birthday, Mom!

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM!!

The bravest, strongest, most caring woman on the planet. This is the woman who broke her jaw and wrist before my sister's wedding ceremony and still powered through with a gorgeous smile on her face. This is the woman who deals with me on a daily basis and does it with her good-natured humor.

I'm absolutely blessed to have her as one of my best friends, let alone my mother!

I couldn't ask for anything more.

Happy birthday, mom! I love you so much!

Mow.



Lies.

Everyone knows how painful it is to be lied to by someone you care about. But you know what's worse? When you realize you're lying to yourself.

We've all done it (some more than others) and sure, a lot of the time it's motivation, reassurance, positivity... but what about the times when it's just to save yourself from dealing with the harsh truth? It's a defense mechanism and it's only natural, but wouldn't it be healthier to deal with reality from the start?

When my grandmother went into the hospital in July of this past year, I remember telling myself "She's not going anywhere", and then feeling completely unprepared when I got a phone call saying differently. Would I have been better off taking a more realistic approach? Certainly I can't think that it would have hurt any less to lose her, but would I have been less shocked?

People do it all the time in the dating world... "He'll call", "She's probably just busy with work this week", etc. It's one thing if you truly believe this... but if you're just telling yourself this in order to get to sleep at night, that's another story. The writers of Sex & the City helped both women and men of all ages all over the world with six simple words regarding this topic: "He's just not that into you". It's a slap in the face to someone who is excited about the idea of a prospective mate, but it's a necessary one. Don't lie to yourself and get your hopes up, be honest with yourself and look at it from a realistic point of view. Rip off the bandaid!!!!

I've always thought of myself as someone who sees the world with rose colored glasses on - sees the possibility in life. But as I get older, this optimism is beginning to fade. Not in favor of cynisism or bitterness, God no. Just for realness.

Bottom line folks, there are enough villians out there to screw up the good things you've got going on. Don't add yourself to that list by telling yourself what you want to hear. Be prepared for every outcome, and accept that there are things in life that just plain won't go the way you want them to. But there are a lot of things that do. Celebrate those with everything you've got.

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Enough

Alright Jennifer Hudson. That's quite enough.



You're Skinny Now. I Get It.

Ya look good. Now put a lid on it.

I Said Now Nikki....

Imagine the most well-rounded person you know. How amazing to be so multifaceted, so knowledgeable about so many different aspects of life. This is something I've always wanted to work harder at being... (add it to the list)!

My friend Nikki is easily the most well-rounded person I've ever met. A whiz in the sports world, she can name any Cardinal player on the roster for the past 10 years. She helped me form an opinion about Albert Pujols leaving the team, and shares my love of Skip Schumaker. But don't write her off as just a tomboy... Nikki is also one of the chicest, best dressed gals I've had the pleasure to meet. Never one to be flashy, she is able to subtly make a statement with her outfit, without being over-the-top. As if these two traits weren't enough, Nikki has one of the kindest personalities you could ever hope to meet. We went to high school together and really became close in Junior year Spanish. She taught me what a Chi hair straightener was (and for this, I will be eternally grateful) and I taught her how to say "meatball" in Spanish (for those of you wondering, it's "albondigas"). We immediately bonded over our light hearted senses of humor and our love of goofy rap music. We also played on the same tennis team Junior and Senior year. I use the word "played" loosely here, as Nikki was/is a tennis star, and I am a jack-ass with a racket and no backhand.

Nikki and I stayed close through college, even though I went to Mizzou and she went to Arizona. Now we're both back in St. Louis and actually neighbors again. We've gotten to be as close as we were back in high school and I couldn't be happier... having Nikki in your life is like having the sunshine in your life. Always happy and always ready to lend a sarcastic joke, this girl is the definition of first rate.

Thanks for being you, Nikki. I strive to live up to your awesomeness on a daily basis.

And P.S. have you ever seen a prettier lady in your life? Guh.....

Fun

A wise friend of mine (who is also a wise-ass) recently said, "All you have to do is have fun. It's not that hard."

That's obviously not that profound of a statement but it really made an impact on me... I'm infamous for expecting things to go perfectly, and when things go awry (as they always do) I never know how to deal. I was explaining this to my friend when he eloquently just blurted this out, and I literally stopped in my tracks and said out loud "....Nobody has ever put it like that before..."

I have several New Years resolutions this year (save money, eat the groceries I buy, start a catchphrase that sweeps the nation) but I think the most important one will be to always keep this bit of wisdom in mind. Whenever I find myself putting too much pressure on myself to look perfect, act perfect, have the perfect date, host the perfect dinner party, etc., I'll try to stop and remind myself that all I can really do is have fun.

It's not that hard.

via

Hahaha

via

That's about right!