There are only a few things more uncomfortable than going on a date with someone you've been "set up" with:
1. stubbing your toe
2. calling someone the wrong name
3. gynecological exams
Aside from those instances, these dates take the awkward cake.
But I can't be mad that my friends and family want to set me up with guys... they're genuinely trying to do a nice thing. But I fear they don't understand that they're setting me up to stub my toe.
Do we meet for a "group hang"? Do we do a one-on-one dinner where we tell each other a little about ourselves and we have until the bill comes to decide if we see this going anywhere? Cuz I can usually tell by the time the drink menus come out. Does he pay? Am I obligated to have a second date no matter what since he's a friend of a friend? And what if we don't "hit it off"? One or both of us has to explain to the mutual friend that they had a horrible idea and that they should be institutionalized. That's always a fun conversation. No hurt or offended feelings there.
I only bring this up because in the last 24 hours, I've had 3 people tell me they have a guy they want me to meet.
How I respond: "That's so nice, thank you, but I don't know if I'm ready".
Ready to set myself on fire, that is.
I fear that some people (ahem, my sister, who is 1 of the 3 most recent offenders) may read this as me being ungrateful or snotty. I don't mean to come off that way - like I said, I do appreciate the thought. You just want to see me happy in a good relationship. I just believe in fate and destiny and all that good crap. Timing and "coincidences" mean a lot to me. There was a time that I thought all this stuff was hooey - but recently I realized it's what I want to believe in. Maybe it's because two of my best friends met their matches in very unscheduled, happenstance situations. Maybe it's because I've seen too many romantic movies (I have definitely seen too many romantic movies). I guess I just don't want to give up on the idea that love can find me someday when I'm least expecting it. Not at a scheduled time, at a scheduled place with a scheduled person. Blair Waldorf says "Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid reason to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen". True, but I can't make a connection appear with someone. I can control my fate and destiny in that I can get myself off the couch and in social situations. Destiny isn't going to bring the perfect man to my door. I get that.
I've got a lot more to learn before I can be in a serious relationship anyway. I'm 25 (26 on Friday - in case you've forgotten) and I have only JUST realized that it's okay to be myself. I'm obviously a late bloomer maturity-wise. So I believe that whenever I'm ready, love will find me.
And if not, there's always cats.
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