Get Your Weekend Started Early.

Crank up your speakers and start dancing.

Workaholic

try 8:30

Moral Compass

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What's in a Name?

Some of these usernames on Match.com are cracking me up...

Would it be horrible of me to share a few with you guys? Just promise you won't sign on and look them up and tell them that I was making fun of them. Cuz then I'd feel bad.

-BuddyonFire

-RedMustangMan2 (I guess RedMustangMan was already taken. So he's #2.)

-SirWinksAlot86

-LuveyPackageDeal

-JauntyRob

-MyLoveDanceWithYou

There should be filters set for the level of ridiculousness of a person's username. 

Well Would Ya Look at That....

Stephen Colbert and I read the same magazines...

just kidding

Never Thought of it This Way.



truth fact

Another Direct Quote

It's a new day and that means 5 or 6 new emails from random dudes from Match.

This morning I got a good chuckle from a 33 year old fella from Mascutah, Illinois who said:

"This is the part where I'm supposed to jump through hoops and do backflips and stuff to impress you but I'm not going to. You're either interested or you're not. Write back if you are. You could start with your name..."

Oh, oh really? Listen here sour patch kid I'm the snarky cynical one in relationships and there ain't room for two. Take your negative 'tude elsewhere.

Cher

Twitch Twitch

Know what's messed up? Is that my right eye has been twitching on and off since July. I noticed last night that it hadn't done it all day and thought I had finally gotten rid of it.

Show up to work this morning and it starts all over again.

Halp.

twitch.stitch.

Yowzers

And I thought my old man was bad...

WATCH it now

Buying

pizza bffs forever

Betsy, Lacy, Amanda... explain to me how we don't have these. 

Maybe it's because there are only 4 of us and we don't like enough people to make a full pizza? 

I'm going to scour the internetz until I can find this. We'll just have an incomplete pizza and say it's because we ate the other pieces already. Which would actually be pretty accurate.

Lucy Hale

Lucy

I have a small (or giant) obsession with her right now. I want her hair. And her on-screen boyfriend.

Cool new song I heard tonight

"Showstopper" by Brandon and Leah

The Science Guy Says...



Bill Nye

Politics

People who argue about politics on Facebook (or even in person) boggle my mind. 

You're not going to change anyone's mind because you can't change their upbringing, their family, their group of friends, their jobs, their pay scale, their lifestyles... you can't change someone.

It's not like trying to convince someone that lilacs are prettier than roses. A person's political views are part of who they are as a human being.

You can shout how horrible the opposite party is at a person all day long but that doesn't change the fact that your party isn't perfect either. Neither of them are. They're both corrupt, they're all crooks and they're all out for the same thing: money.

Stop trying to convince people that your political preference is better than theirs. 

STOP.

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Just had to return a pair of Tom's at Nordstrom... Does that mean some poor child is getting their first pair of shoes snatched back from them?!

Wanna Bet?

I bet you all the money in my wallet (a solid $3.oo) that you can't roll your right foot in a clockwise motion, while drawing the number 6 in the air.

While you're drawing the 6, your foot will switch directions.

Did I win?

boom

Shakespeare

Just got this gorgeous scarf in the mail from Etsy - it's from the shop called "quotationmarks"!

so cozy

It's the softest and most beautiful white scarf I've ever owned, and then scrawled across it in beautiful handwritten script is this quote from Shakespeare's Sonnet 116:

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
      If this be error and upon me proved,
     I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

Sonnet 116

The portion in bold is what's on the scarf. I've always thought fondly of Shakespeare but didn't really fall hard for him until I took a class in college called "Shakespearean Comedies & Histories". We read As You Like It, Measure for Measure, The Merchant of Venice (which I was in the play for - as a dude - twas awesome...), A Mid-Summer Night's Dream, and all of the Henry plays. It also didn't hurt that the professor was quite dreamy and passionate about Shakespeare so it was so easy to want to learn as much as possible.

Thanks quotationmarks, for my new favorite Fall accessory!

Monday Match Update

So it's been about a month since I joined Match.com and I just thought it's about time to give everyone an update... 

I've actually met with one guy who turned out to be really fun and nice. That was a couple weeks ago and I think we'll go out again this week if things line up!

I've received 252 emails from men who want to "get to know me better". 99% of them are strangers but 2 of them were actually people I knew from high school/college but I guess they didn't know me! They sent me emails coming off as all sweet and charming but I know the real them. Sneaky snakes.

Some pretty interesting things have taken place... a 60 year old man emailed me and asked if he could take me to dinner. His profile picture was a photo of him and his daughter taken at her wedding. She's easily 10 years older than me. That email got deleted.

A weird dude emailed me and all the email said was, "Who would win between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?". I told Lacy about this thinking she'd laugh and be as confused as I was and she said, "Well... a taco.... you'd pick taco, right?" (This is reason 5,346,921 that I adore her.)

When I filled out my preferences, I said I was interested in men between the ages of 26 and 35. So explain to me why 47 year old men keep emailing me. And when I set up my account, they asked me to select from a group of pictures the man I was most attracted to. 

I chose this picture:

Clooney

So why do I keep getting emails from guys who look like this?

ain't gonna get it done

I know I'm not a super model but c'mon Match. Get your shit together. Don't ask questions like that unless you can somehow filter the emails I get.

So... so far it's been a little bleak. But new people join every day. I just need to be a little more proactive about it I think. 

I'll let you know how things end up on the next Match Monday Update (not necessarily next Monday).

Wish me luck. I want to look at a guy like this* someday...

in love

*Yes, I realize I just said in a round-about-way that I want to be like Miley Cyrus. Rest assured that this is not the case. I just want to be as in love as she is one day.

But so far I've been looking at the guys on Match like this...

yiiiiiiiiikes.

3 Little Kittens

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAZ LOST YOUR MITTENZ?!?"

mew.

Thompson Twins

I've been listening to this on repeat this morning for some reason:

80's music is love.

Break-In

The little building I live in got broken into last night around 1:30am and there was all sorts of commotion going on. It doesn't sound like the guy(s) got anything or even made it into anyone's actual homes but they were in the building. 

I've been watching episodes of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix at night (25 episodes in one 3-day weekend - that's gross) and it's kinda spooky. So at 1:30 when I heard what sounded like someone taking a baseball bat to our metal mailboxes, I thought I was a goner for sure.

I heard people coming out of their units and asking "What was that?" "What's going on?" and then I saw blue and red flashing lights outside... all the while I was standing quietly on my tip-toes watching through the peep hole. I ain't goin' out there. Nu-uh.

So anyway I called my mom and dad this morning to tell them all about it and to tell them what good timing it was that they had just come over and put in a chain lock on my door, and my dad suggested I call the police department to find out what happened. So at lunch, I called the non-emergency line and gave them my information, and just asked if I could have some details. She puts me on hold, and their hold song was "We Are Young" by Fun.

On a police department hold line.

"Give me a second I

I need to get my story straight

My friends are in the bathroom

Getting higher than the Empire State

My lover she's waiting for me

Just across the bar

My seats been taken by some sunglasses

Asking 'bout a scar

And I know I gave it to you months ago

I know you're trying to forget

But between the drinks and subtle things

The holes in my apologies

You know I'm trying hard to take it back

So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down

I'll carry you home

Tonight

We are young

So let's set the world on fire

We can burn brighter

Than the sun"

Seems a little... risque for a police department, no?

I'm sure they just play music from a local radio station and I just happened to catch it when that song was playing but I couldn't get over the irony. 

Anyway they don't have any details on what happened or who it was. I'm tempted to go down into the basement to see if he/she broke into anyone's storage lockers... but really... it's just my Christmas decorations down there. If homeboy really wants my 6 foot Duchess Spruce that bad he can have it.

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