What Are You?


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I want whatever he has.

My Faves

These are currently the things that make me happiest:

1. Watching YouTube clips of Ellen scaring people

 I could watch that lady laugh for hours. That should be her talk show - just a solid hour of her giggling:

2. 80's & 90's cult classic comedies:

Soapdish

Sally Field is an actress on a tanking soap opera whose world turns upside down when a former lover and an estranged family member show up at the same time. A young Robert Downey Jr. is perfection in this movie, and and even younger Elizabeth Shue gives an endearing performance as well. But it's Field's performance that makes me rent this cult classic probably twice a year. She's just so adorably nuerotic and self-centered. It's by far my favorite role of hers!

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Mrs. Doubtfire

Another film of Sally's, but this time she plays the straight role as Robin Williams unleashes himself as her cross dressing ex-husband. Their family is going through a divorce, but Robin can't stay away from the kids - so he poses as an elderly female nanny. It's from this movie that genius one-liners like "Layla, get back in your cell! Don't make me get the hose!" and "Hot Jambalaya!" were born. An instant classic...

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Clue

The game that was fun for the whole family (especially your uncle who you always suspected could have been a serial killer) was made into a movie in the mid-80's and it's been a top 5 favorite of mine since I first rented back in 1995. Tim Curry as the Butler, Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White, Christopher Lloyd as Professor Plum... how can you go wrong with a crazy ass cast like that? If you haven't rented this one, please go do so now!! You won't be sorry! No - not the game Sorry! ... the game is Clue... shutup.

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Death Becomes Her

Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep. Two names I wouldn't expect to be in a movie together. Throw in Bruce Willis and this has disaster written all over it. But that couldn't be further than the truth. Goldie & Meryl are life long frenemies who end up un-dead with their dear friend Bruce left (alive) in the middle. The special effects and makeup were brilliant for their time, and I think the acting is equally great! And, in the interest of full disclosure, I'll tell you a little secret. In one of the opening scenes, Meryl sings a song in an off-Broadway venue, and I have the song and dance routine memorized. What's that you say? I'm a huge weirdo? Haven't we established that already?!?!?!

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3. This Website
This is one of the most creative things I've come across lately - I really hope I get a chance to get a hold of some old photographs of the house where I grew up and take some pictures like these before my parents move. I think this house is the most perfect home a child could ask for. No, it didn't have a swimming pool or anything out of the ordinary, but this home is filled with some of the most amazing memories that I'll never be able to forget.

I had my first surprise birthday party in this house. I graduated from elementary school, middle scool, high school, and college in this house. I posed out on that front porch in too many dance recital costumes to count. My senior prom date picked me up from this house. So many highs and lows took place within those four walls - I just don't know how I'll ever say goodbye to it!




What are some of your current favorites? 

Bowties!

I'm considering going out and buying a male dog strictly so that I can make him wear one of these at all times...

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You sneaky fancy pups!

Truth



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... and by "superb" I really mean:

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Empire Records? Anyone? No?

Well if you haven't seen it... do yourself a favor.

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Monday Monday.

Not much worse than Monday morning.

Except when it's raining.

And the air conditioning in your office is broken.

And there are still a zillion fans in the office pointed at the floors and walls to try to dry out the water that came in two weeks ago when it stormed.

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Despite all of this, I'm not in too terrible of a mood! I had a great weekend filled with amazing people... and looking at my calendar at work for the month of July, I have a lot to look forward to! 3 day weekend coming up, I get to dog-sit for 3 adorable doggies one weekend, "float" trip with Matt and friends the next weekend (I put quotes up around the word float because I'm still not sure if I'll actually partake in the floating. That might be nap-time for this girl), and then a trip to SOMEWHERE for my dear friend Monica's bachelorette party (Mon knows who is going and when we're going, but not where! I love this idea... it's going to be an amazing weeknd!)

But that means three weekends in a row away from this girl...

Any volunteers to babysit this angel while I'm gone?

Disney

This is either the coolest or lamest thing I'll ever post... I'll let you guys be the judge.

Enjoy!

My Mind is Blown...

I just came across this video and it's possibly one of the most fascinating things I've ever seen... watch as a Papua New Guinea tribe encounters civilized white men for the first time in 1976. They learn about matches, mirrors, cameras, tape recorders and knives and they seem endlessly shocked at these things that we take for granted on a daily basis.

It's just so amazing for me as a fairly privileged young white girl to see how differently probably 50% of the world lives. They aren't concerned about when the iPhone 5 is coming out or who got kicked off the Bachelorette this week... they're working with what Mother Nature gave them. There are still mothers and babies, but the mom's aren't concerned with having the best and newest of the baby technology out there - and the kids seem just fine without them.

Somebody commented something to the extent of "I bet these people are so much happier than we are stuck in our little American cages", and I can't help but wonder if he's right... would there be less hatred, drama, greed, etc. if we didn't have all the advancements we have?

Ooop gotta go.... my hot pocket is ready! 

Today

This day better get better. The two things I've been looking forward to all morning turned out to suck.

I was excited to go to Splash to buy a dress for tonight, but was getting a completely weird vibe from the people who were working. They kept looking at me like "Why are you here?" so I left.

Then I was excited to come back to the office and eat the other half of the Caesar wrap I had for dinner last night, but it was gross and completely unsatisfying. And I'm still hungry.

If things don't turn around sometime this afternoon I'm gonna be real pissed.

Umm...

Is it weird that I find this really attractive?



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Yeah probably.

Meh.

#SamRockwell

GPOY

GPOY (Gratuitous picture of yourself):

The "Listening to the new Nicki Minaj song Super Bass song at my desk and laughing at the lyrics" edition...



P.s. sweet chicken-pox scar, eh?

Quote

Matt: I think your trouble-making ways might be rubbing off on me... so be prepared.

Me: Well - just keep in mind that anything you can do I can do better when it comes to being a little shit. So if you start something, keep that in mind.

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Lots of Daydreaming Lately

Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I'd like out of life. And what I keep coming up with, is that I'd like a world of my own...

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"Cats and rabbits
Would reside in fancy little houses
And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers
In a world of my own

All the flowers
Would have very extra special powers
They would sit and talk to me for hours
When I'm lonely in a world of my own

There'd be new birds
Lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds
Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds
Within that world of my own

I could listen to a babbling brook
And hear a song that I could understand
I keep wishing it could be that way
Because my world would be a Wonderland"



Thank You!

MeowMeowMeow.

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A heartfelt THANK YOU to one Ms. Katie Voss... Thank you for the giving my humble little blog a much needed makeover! You are the "Social Media Maven" of my heart...

It's Friday

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A Decent Idea...

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Splurge

This diet is really starting to suck. I think I'll treat myself a little tonight with some breakfast for dinner or something.

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Oh That Alli...

Evidently I've been noticably goofy from a very young age. I'm told my dad's dad (Grandpa Maury) would come over to hang out with me while our Grandma Ziggy was at the salon getting her "hair fixed" (it was broken so she needed to go get it fixed...) on Saturdays. Years later, Ziggy always would tell me how Maury would get in the car with her when she was done at the salon and say, "Oh that Alli!"

Now I've never been able to decipher whether or not he meant that in the endearing way that I'm hoping, or in an exhausted way... "Oh that Alli... she's a real wild ass." Knowing good old Maury it was a little of both.

(Quintessential picture of Maury... a can of Budweiser by his side, and a look of "What in the hell are you doing?" on his face. If I grow up to be just like him I'll be able to say I'm an awesome human being...)

As I've grown into my quirks and eccentricity, I've noticed people saying "Oh that Alli" a lot. I'd say 75% of the time people say this instead of saying, "God you're weird..." and it is with a look on their face like this one:

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 Another 20% of the time it's said after I do something embarrassing of have something embarrassing happen to me. "Ha ha ha... oh that Alli... she ran over that parking meter again." "Oh that Alli... she blew another chance with a guy because she's a crazy cat lady - it just kills me when she does that!"

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The remaining 5% (don't worry, 75 + 20+ 5 = 100, I did the math) of the time I hear it, it's used in an endearing tone, and I can't think of a higher compliment. "Oh that Alli... she's creative when she wants to be" or "Oh that Alli... that girl can nap with the best of them..." "Oh that Alli... she's got a really good heart..."

From now on I'm going to start saying "Oh that so-and-so" before giving someone a compliment. Even if it's to their face. It just makes the compliment seem a little more special for some reason! I dunno. It makes sense in my head.

I know what you're thinking right now.

"Oh that Alli... she sure is a weird one!"
And you know what?
You're right!


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Another One...



This guy is a genius!

Dear Girls Above Me,
“Well if you still have diarrhea tomorrow we need to get you some of that Exlax stuff.” Putting out the fire with gasoline, huh?

 

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Nu-uh....

If one more person says I remind them of this girl I'm going to go postal.

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We're totally different. She has her MBA and went to Villanova... geeze people...

My Girl!

My favorite celebrity is on the cover of Marie Claire's July issue!

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I'm loving her shorter hair! She's promoting her new movie Horrible Bosses which also has Charlie Day in it... who is another one of my faves!

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So many good movies to see this summer! Cue excited dance...

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Heartbreaker

Remember that show "Making the Video" on MTV where they would do a behind-the-scenes look at making music videos in the early 2000s? I would stay at home on Friday nights to watch the ones with Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. Hell yeah I was awesome..

The episode for Heartbreaker by Mariah Carey was always my favorite though. She might be crazier than Charlie Sheen but home girl put out some good hits in her day.



Project Nim

In the past three weeks I have seen Bridesmaids, The Hangover 2 and Everything Must Go. On a scale of 1-10 here's how I would rank these:

Bridesmaids: 10

The Hangover 2: 7.5

Everything Must Go: 8

Last night before Everything Must Go, I saw a trailer for the movie Project Nim and I don't know if I've ever been so excited to see a movie! (That's a blatant lie because I'm pretty excited to see Breaking Dawn in November... but play along.)

Watch this trailer and tell me you're not at least a little excited to learn all about this story...

I've always said that if I could have dinner with 5 people (dead or alive) Jane Goodall would be one of them. I used to rent her documentary from the public library back to back until I knew the words by heart when I was little. Can you imagine having such a real relationship with a different species? Communicating with them and understanding their needs, wants and feelings - and having them understand you, too? Project Nim looks like it will delve much further into Goodall's work -- so excited to see it!

Learn more about Nim here!

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Me.

"That guy wanted to buy me a drink? But I already have one... Do you think he would buy me mozzarella sticks?"

New Favorite Blog

My new favorite blog (this week) is Dear Girls Above Me. This poor bastard has to listen to these two girls above him say some pretty stupid stuff, and his comments are perfection. Betsy and Lacy, I know you two will enjoy this as much as I do! Some of my favorite posts so far are:

Dear Girls Above Me:
“Wait, when it’s a hardcover it’s a novel and when it’s floppy it’s just a book?” All you need to know is it’s available on tape.



Dear Girls Above Me:
“Why are they honeymooning in the South of France? Don’t a bunch of birds go there for the winter?” Only the really snooty ones.

Dear Girls Above Me:

“Cathy, talk to me! I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t pee, knowing you’re mad at me.” Don’t let Cathy mess with your urinary system.

This blog makes my loud upstairs neighbor seem much less annoying!

Gym-Going for the Awkward Woman

I'm fairly certain this article was written for me. God bless you, Audrey, for turning this "I don't want to go to the gym because I'm not comfortable around other human beings or heavy machinery" girl into a gym-going hopeful!

I just wish that this:

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...still counted as a form of exercise.

I'm declaring it here, folks. By July 4th, 2011 I will have lost 5 to 10 pounds. And I would appreciate it if you would all hold me to that! No more fast food, no more Chex-Mix, no more regular Dr. Pepper (wow it hurts to even type that).

LET'S DO THIS!

Motivation

From an early age we're led to believe that we can be anything we want to be. "Reach for your dreams!" "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" The list of motivating inspirational posters goes on and on...

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(naturally this was always my favorite...)

I think there was always a little part of me that just knew my life would be special. I wouldn't have a 9-5 job, I wouldn't have to worry about mortgage payments, oil changes or vet bills. I would have a fabulous life with closets full of nice clothes, a garage with a snazzy car and a home with a pool and ocean view. Not that I would ever swim in the ocean... but it's all part of the dream. The dream that I was taught to reach for. The dream that I was taught that if I didn't get it the first time, I needed to try, try again for it.

What happened to that?

Now before I go on, I want to say that I'm extremely happy with my life. I decided that last night as I was cleaning the condo which I own and, dancing with the kitten whom I adopted from a shelter. I wouldn't trade lives with anyone. Although it's not perfect, it's ten times better than the dream I had envisioned for myself back in elementary school.

Yes, I have an 8:30-5 job (what a slap in the face... in elementary school my version of hell was working 9-5... and now I actually start a half an hour earlier than that). Yes, I have a mortgage payment and HOA fees, and all the other standard bills that all other self-sufficient adults have to worry about. I have a one bedroom condo that neither has a pool, nor an ocean view. Standard sized closet and a shared garage with 16 other people. It's not perfect, but it's all I need. Guh I feel like such a sap writing that. I'm such a traitor to elementary school me who had such great plans and huge ideas. Sorry kid...

But what I want to know is, what happened to the motivation and the idea that anything was possible? Somewhere around middle school, teachers stopped instilling that idea in my head and started preaching "You need to work on your test scores so you can get into college!" "You need to stop sleeping through class so you can get good grades and get into college!" What if I didn't want to go to college? What if I had bigger plans for myself than that? Too bad. What bigger plans than college, you ask? Well maybe I wanted to become an actress, or a singer. Maybe I wanted to take the hours worth of video tapes my friends and I recorded of us doing gymnastics in my basement and see if that could make me instantly famous. The point is there are zillions of other options that people can take other than graduate high school, graduate college, get a job in Corporate America, drive a sedan, get married and pop out some kids. But where I went to school in Suburban-ville Missouri, that choice was what the educators wanted for us. I'm not complaining, mind you. As I said earlier, I'm very happy with the life I'm leading and wouldn't have anything I have right now without going the high school, college, Corporate America route. I just wonder from time to time what my life would be like if the "you can do anything" mentality was still shoved in my face at every corner. Would I be working in a carreer field I know nothing about? Or would I be off writing short stories in New York somewhere? Would I own my own condo here in St. Louis, or would I be in an apartment in California, barely making rent each month? What would our lives be like if the motivation we received as children continued into our adult lives?

If you're having trouble understanding where I'm going with this, you're not alone. I'm writing it and I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make. But do me a favor...

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We'll get through this nonsense together.

3 Amigos

It needs to be said that I work with two of the friendliest ladies on the planet. I honestly don't know how I would get through my work days without Joy and Helane here to have a laugh with! Not only do I consider them two of the best co-workers I've ever had... (yes, this is my first "real" job, but still) I also consider them good friends. I always look forward to chatting with them everyday! I can't say for sure if they feel the same way about me, however. I am an awfully big a-hole sometimes.

Thanks for reading this everyday, ladies! Now get back to work!!

Is it the Weekend Yet??

My lovely sister turns 29 this Sunday! We are celebrating this Friday night downtown - I'm so excited! And then on Sunday we are having dinner with the fam at the Country Club she and her husband belong to. But of course, dahling...

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I have plans this Saturday to go to the pool with my friend Lacy! It's 85 and sunny in St. Louis today... I wish we were there now!!

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So let's hurry the rest of the week up already! After my last weekend of being at home and doing a lot of sitting and napping, I'm excited to have a weekend chock-full of the ones I love! Hope you're all having a splendid Wednesday... try to do something unexpectedly nice for someone today. You'll be glad you did.