From an early age we're led to believe that we can be anything we want to be. "Reach for your dreams!" "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" The list of motivating inspirational posters goes on and on...
(naturally this was always my favorite...)
I think there was always a little part of me that just knew my life would be special. I wouldn't have a 9-5 job, I wouldn't have to worry about mortgage payments, oil changes or vet bills. I would have a fabulous life with closets full of nice clothes, a garage with a snazzy car and a home with a pool and ocean view. Not that I would ever swim in the ocean... but it's all part of the dream. The dream that I was taught to reach for. The dream that I was taught that if I didn't get it the first time, I needed to try, try again for it.
What happened to that?
Now before I go on, I want to say that I'm extremely happy with my life. I decided that last night as I was cleaning the condo which I own and, dancing with the kitten whom I adopted from a shelter. I wouldn't trade lives with anyone. Although it's not perfect, it's ten times better than the dream I had envisioned for myself back in elementary school.
Yes, I have an 8:30-5 job (what a slap in the face... in elementary school my version of hell was working 9-5... and now I actually start a half an hour earlier than that). Yes, I have a mortgage payment and HOA fees, and all the other standard bills that all other self-sufficient adults have to worry about. I have a one bedroom condo that neither has a pool, nor an ocean view. Standard sized closet and a shared garage with 16 other people. It's not perfect, but it's all I need. Guh I feel like such a sap writing that. I'm such a traitor to elementary school me who had such great plans and huge ideas. Sorry kid...
But what I want to know is, what happened to the motivation and the idea that anything was possible? Somewhere around middle school, teachers stopped instilling that idea in my head and started preaching "You need to work on your test scores so you can get into college!" "You need to stop sleeping through class so you can get good grades and get into college!" What if I didn't want to go to college? What if I had bigger plans for myself than that? Too bad. What bigger plans than college, you ask? Well maybe I wanted to become an actress, or a singer. Maybe I wanted to take the hours worth of video tapes my friends and I recorded of us doing gymnastics in my basement and see if that could make me instantly famous. The point is there are zillions of other options that people can take other than graduate high school, graduate college, get a job in Corporate America, drive a sedan, get married and pop out some kids. But where I went to school in Suburban-ville Missouri, that choice was what the educators wanted for us. I'm not complaining, mind you. As I said earlier, I'm very happy with the life I'm leading and wouldn't have anything I have right now without going the high school, college, Corporate America route. I just wonder from time to time what my life would be like if the "you can do anything" mentality was still shoved in my face at every corner. Would I be working in a carreer field I know nothing about? Or would I be off writing short stories in New York somewhere? Would I own my own condo here in St. Louis, or would I be in an apartment in California, barely making rent each month? What would our lives be like if the motivation we received as children continued into our adult lives?
If you're having trouble understanding where I'm going with this, you're not alone. I'm writing it and I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make. But do me a favor...
We'll get through this nonsense together.
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