Big Bully

I've been called a lot of adjectives in my life, some good, some bad, some ugly... but never in my life have I ever been called a bully. Until yesterday.

In late summer we hired a woman to work in our department with Joy, Helane and me and I'll be honest and say it wasn't exactly a great fit from the start. As the days rolled on, we got things figured out and eventually we started a relationship with this woman. A few weeks ago she announced to us that while it was a "very hard decision" she was going to be starting a new job opportunity. Now that she's gone, we have to re-fill this position and this is what my boss had to say about the situation:



"Okay now that BlahBlah is gone, we're going to have to have So&So start. He's really nice and we think he'll do a really good job... as long as Alli doesn't bully him like she did the last person."

I immediately thought my boss was kidding because I'm the least confrontational person I know. I would honestly rather do almost anything than get into an argument with someone. Am I passive/aggressive? Most certainly. Light-heartedly feisty? To a fault... but a bully? Surely this had to be a joke.

"Wait, are you serious? BlahBlah said I was a bully? What exactly did I do?"

"Well evidently you did something, because you made her cry twice."

Sitting in Conference Room C, I immediately felt my cheeks flush and my brow furrow. WWWWWHhat?! This is a grown woman! Mid-to-late 40s! While I will admit that the first few weeks of having her around were difficult, I in no way snapped at her or made her feel unwelcome! How could I have caused her to have not one, but two emotional breakdowns?!

Joy and Helane giggled and took delight in making it seem as though I was this real scary "street tough" who could make people cry at will...

"That's Alli... you gotta watch out for her. She's the real ring leader. If she doesn't like you, oh watch out... she'll eat you for breakfast."

(I wasn't worried about this though. I don't take anything those two say seriously. Buncha animals.)

But this got me wondering - could I really be coming across as mean and hurtful when all I mean to be is playful? As I said before, this is the first time I've ever been in this situation where I've (allegedly) hurt someone's feelings so badly that they wound up in tears... not to mention an adult who was supposed to be my superior. Maybe I need to cut back on the sarcasm and the awkwardly-timed jokes....

Yeah right.