Does our birth order dictate what kind of personality we have?
My sister just had her first baby, Ben, and he's a "hold-me" baby. He's more comfortable being in someone's arms than he is in his bassinet. I mentioned to my mom how sweet this was and she said, "Well your sister (Ben's mom) was the exact same way. She always wanted to be held and rocked and hugged". "Oh," I said, "so it runs in the family? Was I the same way?" She laughed and said "Nooooo no no no. You were a 'put-me-in-my-bed-and-leave-me-alone baby". Easy enough for me to believe since I'm still this way today...
This lead me to wonder - does who we are and how we act really boil down to where we landed on our family tree? If I had been a middle child instead of the baby of the family, would I have been someone completely different today? A lot of research has gone into this notion - it was really fascinating to look into!
Here's what I found out about myself:
"The baby of the family tends to be:
- fun-loving
- uncomplicated
- manipulative
- outgoing
- attention-seeker
- self-centered"
How a person can be manipulative yet uncomplicated is beyond my comprehension but evidently I am (or "my people" are). I tend to agree with the fact that I'm attention-seeking. I would really get jealous when my parents would praise my sister for her good grades or how great of a dancer she was and get miffed. I don't think I'm as bad about it anymore now that I'm a little older and wiser... but I definitely still do want the attention and praise of my parents and those around me. I hope I'm not annoying about it... I sincerely don't mean to be! Blame it on my parents for making me the baby! I don't agree that I'm self-centered. If anything I think I'm the opposite - not necessarily a saint by any means but not a spoiled brat, either.
Some of the other research I did showed that "parents tend to be more laissez-faire" with the last born of the family. Well that's certainly true. I remember seeing how much trouble my sister would be in if she were 15 minutes late getting home after a night out. Then when it was my turn to be out on the town, I was shocked to see that my mom and dad would be sound asleep as I walked through the door whether I was on time or not! Good to know this is normal with all families... us babies have it easy compared to the older siblings who paved the way for us.
There is a lot to be said about how where you landed in your family molds you into the person you are as an adult. As I mentioned before, Ben is the first for my sister and her husband, and I know they plan to have more. Maybe looking a little into this will help us all relate to him a little better when his sibling comes along!
What about you? Are you a first child: structured, responsible, conscientious? A middle-child: peace-making, people-pleasing, achiever? Or the baby, like me?
I don't know how much this "science" applies to your lives, but I do know one thing for certain: I am thankful for my older sister every single day. Without her, I think I'd be one lost little lady.
No comments:
Post a Comment